By Laura Wallace | October 17, 2018
It’s interesting how certain phrases can take someone from smiling to weeping in a matter of seconds. The things we tell ourselves can be brutal and damaging and the emotional scars that unresolved life events have on us are traumatic. So, when you’ve been told or felt like you’re not enough your entire life when someone looks you in the eye and tells you that you are, it breaks the emotional seal.
I’m a proud crier. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, at Hallmark commercials and when the sun hits the tree the right way. I feel the energy on a level that is almost unexplainable which means I feel everything to the extreme, good or bad. It’s part of who I am, and I’ve learned to embrace it and show it loud and proud vs. hiding behind it to make other people feel comfortable. It’s one of my superpowers.
Last week we held our second Leadercast Women event and I was thrilled by a very subtle string that connected each message. When it all boiled down, the key theme for the day was about being yourself, unapologetically. Jen Ekstrom reminded us that other people don’t get to control how you feel about yourself. Quite frankly, it’s none of your business what other people think of you and most of the time it’s a reflection of how they’re feeling about themselves. Are you on your own team or are you fighting the person across from you in the mirror? Julia Landauer shared how in trying to please everyone, she diluted herself. Can I get an amen for all the people who have done this, too? I became a Frankenstein of what everyone else wanted, what made them comfortable.
Molly Fletcher, one of my favorite speakers of all time, asked us all if our best friend talked to us the way we talk to ourselves, would they still be our friend? I could feel the energy dip in the room as so many lightbulb moments happened. And in the same respect, would you tell your friend the things you tell yourself? “Heck no! That’s absurd,” we tell ourselves. So why do we give ourselves permission to self-sabotage our own feelings? If you really sit with this concept for a hot minute, you’ll start to realize how insane it actually is.
Ladies and gentlemen, today I’d like to give you the permission that you don’t really need but want to hear, to let go of whatever is not serving you well. This might be people, feelings, activities, clients, services, that pair of pants you swear you’ll wear again one day… Anything that is taking your energy is keeping you from investing it on the things that add joy to your life. Ritu Bhasin (who is freaking awesome) spent 30 minutes telling us about authenticity – a word that sings loud and proud to me. It feels hard to be who you are but only because we worry about others before ourselves. She said that with consistent small practices of letting our true selves out, we slowly build the courage and strength to be who we are all the time. It’s liberating and, in my opinion, where life truly begins to unfold. My friend, you are more than enough.