I’ve written a few hundred blogs in my career-span, but this one feels like the first. Over the last 12 months, I’ve been on a journey of self-reflection including deep inner work and massive amounts of shedding, forgiving, and learning to be comfortable being me—regardless of opinions or circumstances. I have cried in more bars than I care to admit and could fill a 5-gallon bucket with the tears. I have let go of baggage that I’ve carried for 33 years. I have faced my demons head on—and some were ugly (like the part in Men in Black where the alien gets shot and that slimy goo flies everywhere). I retreated from people, places, and things. I had to focus on healing me for the first time, ever.
I thought I had “dealt” with my shit. Turns out I put it in a cute little box and tucked it away in my mental closet. Yet every decision I made, every risk that I took, and every opinion of others cracked that box open; sometimes just enough to remind me it was there, other times the whole damn lid came off. Because I hadn’t TRULY dealt with and healed these things, I made mistakes. This has shown up in all aspects of my life, my business in particular. I made myself small in fear that people would leave my life. I lost out on a ton of opportunities and probably hundreds of thousands of dollars.
What the hell.
Through all of this, I found something so big and beautiful that I can’t help but thank the last 12 months for their snot-dripping moments. After accepting the challenge to work through this and ACTUALLY doing it, I have busted out of the box I once tucked away. Actually, I lit that bitch on fire. I’m not a different person, I’m the one I was too afraid to let out. I saw glimpses of my true self along the way, which is how I knew there was more to give. (Cue Adele’s Hello… “hello from the other siiddeeee!!!!).
I’d like to invite you to come on this journey with me. In the last 30 days, my team and I have restructured and streamlined just about everything we do to better serve our tribe. I’d love to introduce you to the lineup:
We’re continuing to brand all things badass and full of passion. Branding, website design, campaigns, and space branding are our jam, and we love taking your business ideas and turning them into a brand that you’re proud to shout from the rooftops.
The Green Couch Project is now The Gutsy Podcast! Launching on January 15th, every Tuesday and Thursday, you can tune in for an inspirational pick-me-up or a swift kick in the mental ass as we talk about all things real, raw, and ridiculous about running a business authentically. Subscribe today!
You’re here, experiencing this now. The Laura-Aura is your blog guide to branding, entrepreneurship, and featured stories from the podcast. Available for speaking events and drinking wine—we’re booking engagements for 2019. And stay tuned for workshops, webinars, and other goodness where we can dig deeper into your bizznas.
I can write from the other side of the mountain now and can honestly thank my old self. I thank her for learning what she needed, when she needed it. I thank her for being open to the little light that shined through, believing there was a sun on the other side. I thank her for not giving up, even when it seemed like that was the only option. Because without her, I couldn’t be me. I hope this inspires one area of your life and is proof that you are worth it. What you think you become and what you work on can be repaired. I believe in you.
When you don’t deal with your shit, it shows up in your business. Fact. Any of these things sound familiar?
- Everyone else is doing it, so why should I?
- I just need to read one more book, then I’ll be ready.
- No one cares what I have to say, so I won’t.
- I can’t go after that opportunity, someone better than me will.
- I’m afraid to call that person – who am I to?
- I’m not smart (talented, creative, etc.) enough.
- I’ll overthink this for seven days and then do nothing.
- I can’t make decisions because I’m afraid of what may happen.
- I need everyone’s approval first, then I can.
The good news is, you’re not the only one that’s ever felt like any (or all) of these. The extra good news is, you can overcome it and get back to the thing you came here to do. When we realize our mistakes, we tend to get angry and put ourselves down—or hide all together. We give the year the middle finger and hold grudges on all the things that we’ve passed up.
To take your power back, I challenge you to thank your old self. Choose the one area that resonates the most with you from this list (or one that’s not listed but showed up for you) and write it down. Put it on a sticky. Make it your phone background. Hell, write it on your arm if you need to. Every time it shows up, I want you to lean into it and do the opposite. It may feel muddy or yucky the first few times, but after you’ve flexed this muscle a few times you’ll see that you can overcome the fear, and soon, it may even become a thing of the past.